


I wanted to see you

by astrorogers



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bruce banner (mentioned) - Freeform, Friendship between Steve Rogers and Sam Wilson, Hidden truths, Infinity War, M/M, Natasha Romanov (mentioned) - Freeform, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Steve Feels, Steve Has Issues, Thanos and the Infinity stones, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, stucky in the past, winterwidow implied
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-11
Updated: 2018-01-11
Packaged: 2019-03-03 14:33:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13343247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astrorogers/pseuds/astrorogers
Summary: “Okay, I’m going to call him.”Sam shat up. Steve stood still now, eyes on that old phone of his (and Tony’s if he didn’t destroy it in 2016), worried look painted all over his face.One drill. Three drills. Five drills. Steve thought that Tony had truly smashed it.Then silence.“Tony?” Steve asked to the void, knots in his throat.“It’s been 2 years.” Tony then spilled out, in a chocked sound.-----Or when Steve tries to talk to Tony, both of them are still hurt inside from their fight about the Accords, Tony's beliefs are turned uside down and they have to face themselves and their emotions for the very first time.





	I wanted to see you

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is the second time I've written a Marvel fanfiction and the very first Stony one, so I hope my English doesn't betray me and that you all enjoy this as much as I did! Enjoy the reading :)

Steve was pacing down in the tunnel they were hiding in. It was just Sam and him, but it was enough. The people he trusted were so few that it was not a surprise after all. Bucky was still in Wakanda, safe and sound after they put him into a cryogenic statis. And now, they were right under the Avengers facility, hoping to chat with the other Avengers left, after they had found out something sinister and very dangerous. But that was not the scariest thing for Steve in that moment. In fact, Steve didn’t know how Tony would react, and that unsurprisingly scared the hell out of him. Sam was saying something to him, but he wasn’t listening. All he could think about was Tony’s reaction. Tony.  
“Okay, I’m going to call him.”  
Sam shat up. Steve stood still now, eyes on that old phone of his (and Tony’s if he didn’t destroy it in 2016), worried look painted all over his face.  
One drill. Three drills. Five drills. Steve thought that Tony truly smashed it as soon as he got it back then.  
Then silence.  
“Tony?” Steve asked to the void, knots in his throat.  
“It’s been 2 years.” Tony then spilled out, in a chocked sound.  
“Yes, I didn’t kn-“  
“What’s going on then? Are you asking for help now because? Is Barnes on the loose with you?” Tony sounded angry. A bit sad maybe. Steve was hoping that.  
“No, he is not with me. But real danger is coming Tony, and we need to stick together if we have the intention to beat it. Beat him.” Steve took a breath.  
Tony as well, since he did not answer back. In the background Steve could hear some muffled sounds, but couldn’t manage to catch anything relevant.  
“I’m already aware of that Rogers, thank you very much. Bye.” He hang up.  
Steve threw his phone on the wall - smashing it for good - and a desperate sound escaped from his mouth.  
“Cap I’m assuming he doesn’t wanna meet ya” Sam murmured, keeping a fair distance from him.  
“He didn’t let me explain anything” - he was starting to get angry too - “he doesn’t even know I’m 500 feet apart from him.”  
Sam whimpered; watching his friend acting like that was not something he wanted to see.  
“Cap hear me out. You gotta talk face to face, right the fuck now. Go upstairs” -he handed some maps to him with the shortest route for him to follow- “and talk. Like two mature people who have been through hell together. Please.”  
Steve looked at Sam, truly listening to his voice for the first time that day. Maybe he was right.  
“Don’t call me Cap Sam. I’m not Captain America anymore.”

“What the fuck.” Tony did not expect that.   
What the fuck was he thinking, entering the Avengers base like that? After everything that has happen-  
“Sorry for the intrusion, but I need to talk to you. I know I’ve no rig- “  
“You are damn right about that Rogers, you don’t deserve to be here” Tony whispered with a raging tone, hands nervously adjusting his hair “At least in my lab.” added.  
Steve opened and quickly closed his mouth. He was in a dark corner of the lab, protected by the shadows, so Tony didn’t have a clear vision of him.   
He got up from the chair he was sitting in, close to a desk full of technical designs. He looked closely. They were projects of new weapons, and there were also some silver plates with names on it. He took one in his hand.  
Steve Rogers  
Tony understood what was going on too late and with two steps abruptly tossed the papers in the trash can trying to hide them. But by doing that, he was suddenly too close to the other man, and finally looked at him for the first time in 2 years.   
He was taller and broader than he remembered (how could that be possible), still fit like the old days. His suit had something wrong, but Tony couldn’t exactly point out what it was, because another detail caught his attention. On his face there was a thick and messy beard, golden- blonde like the hair, which had also grown out, even if the tips were light brown.   
Tony swallowed unconsciously. He’d tried to bury those unwanted feelings and emotions for God knows how long and now, his defences were painfully disengaged. Devastating his soul.  
Steve was staring at him too. Now that Tony was close, he could see that his eyes were always the same, still perfectly warm and brown like chocolate, like he loved them. But he noticed some scars that weren’t there a few years ago, like the one under his eye.   
Steve gasped. He’d have punched himself for that.  
They were still staring at each other after that, in complete silence. Steve then seemed to remember the designs in the trash can, so he bent to took again the one with his name on it. Tony didn’t stop him this time, because he was too weak to touch him. Ah, the truth, how much it hurt.  
“Were you working on me?” Steve whispered, looking at the paper and Tony at the same time.  
They were still too damn close. Tony took a step back, trying to calm down and not explode right there on the spot. He needed a fast answer, or Rogers would have kept looking at him for centuries.  
“When I get bored I create. No personal attachment”. He knew he sounded fake and a bit pathetic. A lot.  
Surprisingly, Steve half- smiled, a little. Despite the beard was hiding it very well, Tony saw it. He swallowed harder.  
“I’m glad you still work, keep your mind busy.” That was all Steve managed to say after that.  
“Vision will know you’re here in less than 20 minutes. So?” Tony responded, even if he hated himself a bit for saying that.  
Steve controlled his watch, and his eyebrows furrowed with concern. He wasn’t in the position to fight Vision, he never was.   
He had to do something fast.  
Tony was still 3 feet away from him, not intending to come any closer. His mind was racing in between thoughts, and again didn’t see it coming when Steve got closer and reached out, one hand put on his trembling shoulder.  
Tony jerked and was about to say something bitter out loud, but Steve gave him no chance to do so, speaking at his place, hand tightening the grip.   
Tony shouldn’t have found that pleasing though.  
“Tony I’m so sorry about your parents. I am a cheating selfish asshole and you’re right when you say that I don’t deserve to be here. I wouldn’t have come this far from Afr- afar if it was not important.”   
He called himself that and he believed it, he truly did. Tony could sense that, but didn’t know how to react to it.  
“His name is Thanos, and he’s threatening the Earth with a massive alien army and the Infinity stones, which are the most dangerous and powerful thing existing in all the universe. I didn’t know if this information got to you, but Banner found out an-“  
“Banner?” Tony interrupted him, eyes wide in disbelief. He scrolled Steve’s hand off him, and tried not to think too much about the fact that Steve looked painfully sad after that.  
“Yes, he emerged a while ago after Asgard was destroyed.” Steve wisely decided not to add anything else. Like the fact that Thor was probably dead. It’d have been too much for the other man.  
Tony couldn’t believe Bruce hadn’t reached out for him first. All the time looking for him in the Pacific Ocean and that fucker was in another realm, in space?  
“He will explain everything to you later I guess, since he got a smartphone, but I didn’t travel all the way to you for him.   
We have to do something now Tony, together” Steve kept going, trying to catch Tony’s attention.   
It worked.  
“ I didn’t know about the Infinity gems, shitass Thanos must have playing with us like toys, giving pieces of information to whoever he wanted all along, but I know something. I guess you have no clue about Proxima Maximus, don’t you?”  
Steve’s turn now to have wide eyes, mouth hanging open.  
“There’s someone else besides Thanos and his army?”- a distant voice spoke up- “For God’s Sake Ste-“  
“Sam shut up”  
Tony couldn’t believe it.  
“You motherfuck-“ he was trembling with rage “you brought him here after what happened to Rhodes how dare yo-“  
“He’s the only one left for me Tony!” Steve cried out, his firm posture breaking down “I have no one else but him right now. He will not hear our conversations again” and he turned off the microphone in his ear.  
Tony didn’t notice his hands in the meantime had landed on Steve’s chest, maybe an unconscious attempt to harm him somehow.   
His fists were tight holding Steve’s suit. Steve could feel Tony’s breath on his neck, but this time Tony didn’t back away.  
“Rogers. Tell me the real reason why you’re here. Right now. No more lies.”  
Steve swallowed, still held down by Tony against the wall.  
“Besides talking about our common enemy, I- I wanted to see you.”   
And that was all he could say, since his brain had crashed down. He was so close to Tony that he forgot how to breathe.  
Tony raised his eyes up to the man’s face, away from his chest where his hands were.  
Steve was looking at him like he never did before. It was like Tony was the most precious thing he had ever laid his eyes on. And Tony didn’t know what to think about that. Because it was new.  
“Well” he started out, his grip finally losing its strength “you have seen me. I got older, and I’m not the man I used to be before. Happy with the result?”  
Steve sighed, and caught Tony off guard by doing something odd.   
Steve turned the microphone on again.  
“Sam, wait me at our place. Look out for me If I’m not back in 2 hours”. After that he didn’t even wait for his teammate’s answer, because he stepped on the thing with his foot. Such a gentleman, Tony thought.  
Wait, what did he just say?  
“Tony, I’m going to say this out loud for the very first time in 6 years, so don’t interrupt me, please.” Tony could do nothing else but nod.  
“ I know that we don’t agree about the Accords, probably never will, and my apologies are exclusively referred to the fact that I divided the team and hurt many in the process.  
But trust me when I say this, something has never changed, and I don’t think it never will, I hope it doesn’t.”   
Tony’s heart was a melting mess.   
“My respect for you. Even if, at first, I didn’t consider you a humble and good person like I do now, I’ve always respected you, because I knew what a brilliant man you were. You are. and I thought that was it, the respect from a man to another. But as years passed, clearly it was not all.”  
While he was speaking, Steve directed the both towards the couch, making them sit there, with very little space between their legs. Oh god.  
“During the war, me and Bucky were together in the most natural ways, at first like friends, then like best friends. And in the end until I saw him die, like something more profound.” He straight-stared Tony in the eyes, making the other man feel every sort of things “lovers.”  
Tony chocked on his own breath, and Steve turned red like a tomato, even under all that beard.  
“I guess you and everyone who knew thought we had a thing at some point, and you were right, but after he showed up in the 21st century everything between us has changed. His past and mine after 1943 couldn’t be more different, and so our interests. Nat will probably agree on this, since she was Bucky’s affair for a decade.”  
“Are you telling me that Natasha and Barnes were together? What the fuck?”   
Tony couldn’t believe he was saying what he was saying. Was the world truly ending?  
“Yes, but that’s for another time. What I was saying is that… me and Bucky didn’t continue what had been abruptly stopped during the war, because we had changed radically who we were, and who we followed. He followed his consciousness and Nat, and I… you.”  
Moments passed. Silence fell heavily in the room.  
“I-I don’- “  
“I guess I’ve been in…love, with you, for the past 6 years or less, Tony. Even after all that has happened between us, this hasn’t changed a bit. On the contrary, it only grew stronger. And I’m saying all this now because I’m afraid I’m going to lose you for good now, and, like I said once to an old friend, as the world’s leading authority on waiting too long, I prefer not holding anything back ever again. Sorry.”  
To say that Tony was distraught was a euphemism.   
The fact that Steve Rogers, after all this time and trouble, had literally spoken his heart out loud in saying that he loved him, always had, unsettled all Tony’s certainties, shocked him right to the core.   
All these years, all these looks Steve gave him that Tony had thought he had dreamt or misinterpreted, were real. He then remembered Pepper saying something about Steve when they broke up two years ago, arguing over the fact that Tony was spending more and more time on the Avengers and not on her because of him. Sure, in his youth he admired Captain America like any other kiddo, but he also thought that he had been the most gorgeous man of all time.   
And that never ceased to exist, since he found himself thinking it over the years after he met Cap in person.   
To feel attraction towards a handsome man was one thing, but to love… it was another matter. Something that he had tried to avoid since 2012, more or less. Crap.  
“You’re sorry you say.”  
Steve, while Tony was arguing with himself internally, raised his glance from where he was looking and met Tony’s eyes. He nodded, and couldn’t hold himself from covering up his face with his hands.  
Vulnerable, his body was screaming silently.  
“I don’t know if I’ll be able to forgive you.” 

While looking at Steve, he saw how sagged his shoulders were, and the sadness and vulnerability that were spreading from his figure.   
He wanted to be as rational as humanly possible. For once in his life, he wanted to keep his shit together.  
“But despite our, differences, I’ve always liked you too. Even if I didn’t want to admit until now.”  
Steve gasped, hands slowly withdrawing from his face.   
He had no idea Tony reciprocate those feelings…Yet, he didn’t have the strength to look at the other man in that moment.  
“And I’m so, so tired of feeling like shit every single minute that passes by, to be lonely and hurt after all this time. Despite my efforts I’ve always knew that I felt something for you, not even close to friendship. I thought “hell, maybe it’s pure hatred!” but I quickly realised that it was not that.”  
For the first time he tried to approach Steve, moving his fingers in the direction of the blonde’s face.  
“I see. I see you are hurting the same way I do.”  
And then he touched him, both hearts skipping a beat. But Steve didn’t just stay still, because he had craved that particular touch for so long that he couldn’t resist thus he literally threw his cheek on Tony’s palm.  
No words were needed or fucks given.  
Tony slowly lifted Steve’s chin up, and by the look Steve gave him, he finally realised that the scars left by their battle of the past weren’t showing on the super soldier body but that didn’t mean that they weren’t there at all.   
They were still open and hurting in Steve’s heart.  
Tony knew how much it hurt. And he knew how much they loved each other, despite the mess between them.  
“I’m sorry too.” That said, he moved closer and without hesitation, pressed his lips to Steve’s.  
The kiss was short, because Tony didn’t want to further upset things, but he saw Steve smile sincerely, and that was all he needed.  
“We have so much to talk about” Steve whispered, finally making the first move and touching Tony’s hair, playing with it with his fingers.   
Tony found it to be really nice.  
“C’mere” Tony mumbled, hugging Steve tight, hands mapping every inch on Steve’s back.  
They’d sort out whatever threat was about to come. 

Together.

**Author's Note:**

> If any of you would like to comment my work or to correct something I wrote wrong please, be my guest! Thank you!


End file.
